leave their cell phones on during a play.

Or use a cell phone 1000 times a day. Its nothing more than a umbilical cord. The morons that can't even put the phone down for a second are so empty inside, they have to be talking to someone at all hours of the day.

http://www.tmz.com/2009/09/28/jackman-and-craig-can-you-hear-us-now/

steal other people's things.

http://www.cnn.com/2009/CRIME/09/15/samurai.sword.killing/index.html

steal a young girl's spotlight.

I like how she's taller than this narcissistic little prick. Just stop buying his records and he'll fade away.

waste my tax dollars on pot busts.

It's shitheads like this that miss the opportunity to catch the real criminals because they are back at the station writing up the paperwork on a pot bust that was worth a couple hundred dollars.

smoke flavored cigarettes.

Another hipster-doofus idea? Or some super genius pothead who likes chocolate.

have a purse.

Well that's just common sense.

try to control things they don't understand.

Pete, go back to what you're good at: making poor doctors even more poor in overblown malpractice suits. Give control of the Orioles to the GM and maybe every magazine won't vote you the worst baseball owner of the year, EVERY YEAR SINCE 1998.

miss the first day of practice because of a sprained toe.

You gotta' be kiddin' me. How much are the Bills paying this fool? 6.5 million bux for 1 year, that's how much. Ralphie is going to regret it real soon.

bring your mother in to swear your a good guy.

You bowtie wearin', non-English-speakin', girl-beatin', pussy-ass mama's boy. Damn. Just. Damn. Would somebody just kick this little d-bag's ass already?!

have mullets.

Get a haircut, moron.

pucker for the camera.

And there are women who like this?

drive corvettes.

Especially red ones. Ever wonder why women look at you in that car and then whisper to one another with giggles?

call themselves "House Husbands."

Would you believe this guy was a US Marine?

wear pinky rings.

Unless your in the old school Gotti or Gambino family, save your money.

drink martinis.

leech off their parents.

A free ride for Mr.Max and what's he do? Write a book about being a jocko douchbag preying on dumb sorority girls.

have kids and then split.

Especially 8 kids! "I'm not going back to that lifestyle" is a direct quote. Sure, contribute to the number one problem facing the world today (overpopulation) and then suddenly punk out because you can't take the pressure. That's about a billion dollars in therapy in a few years for those lil' Gosselins.

wear bowties.

Trust me, no matter how many schools you have been to, NOBODY takes you seriously.

accessorize.

How much time did they spend on the phone the night before planning their outfits?

like "Top Gun."

No explanation needed.

twitter.

Do we all need to know how your feeling after the visit with the proctologist?

own umbrellas.

A little rain won't hurt even the weakest of shoulders.

play the "victim" card-CONSTANTLY.

Grow a pair, you faux-frat boy douchbag.

cry about getting arrested.

Kurt, buddy, you are an Olympic Gold medalist.

hit their women.

You should hear the fool (name not worth mentioning) on Larry King Live stumble through the reason why he "can't talk about it."(Image courtesy of TMZ)

wear makeup.

I understand if your a pop star or just really feminine but a straight guy with eyeliner? C'mon man, metrosexual = gay. Admit it and be happy.