buy things they don't need.

This pseudo-boy-next-door prick is driving a gas guzzling monster truck in downtown L.A. How many things are wrong with this? Since when did the terrain in L.A. get so rugged?
You ain't foolin' nobody, Kelso. You are a douchbag of the highest order, drinking up the sloppy seconds of Bruce Willis' milkshake. No real man would be caught dead driving such a useless, ozone melting automobile.

choose their penis over integrity.

And to think people thought of you in the same category as Kurt Cobain...

embarass their dead fathers.

How phony can one human be? Here's your answer.

hit girls.

Even if they are incredibly annoying, a real man wouldn't hit a woman. Or wear more hair gel than one.

need an entourage.

Do you hate yourself that much that you constantly have to be surrounded by yes men and skanks? Or is it the fact that there isn't a cell in your body that resembles something masculine? How about this, when was the last time you took your own garbage to the curb? Cleaned out the garage? Shoveled snow? Clipped your own fingernails?

Beyond douchbag.

watch reality TV.

There is always something that needs fixing. Go fix it and stop being a assholeface.

dog fight.

You are the mother of all pussies if you are involved in this shit. Seriously.

drive "tricked out" douch mobiles.

An automobile designed for off road activity made to look like Liberace's golf cart is NOT what a man would drive.

leave their cell phones on during a play.

Or use a cell phone 1000 times a day. Its nothing more than a umbilical cord. The morons that can't even put the phone down for a second are so empty inside, they have to be talking to someone at all hours of the day.

http://www.tmz.com/2009/09/28/jackman-and-craig-can-you-hear-us-now/

steal other people's things.

http://www.cnn.com/2009/CRIME/09/15/samurai.sword.killing/index.html

steal a young girl's spotlight.

I like how she's taller than this narcissistic little prick. Just stop buying his records and he'll fade away.

waste my tax dollars on pot busts.

It's shitheads like this that miss the opportunity to catch the real criminals because they are back at the station writing up the paperwork on a pot bust that was worth a couple hundred dollars.

smoke flavored cigarettes.

Another hipster-doofus idea? Or some super genius pothead who likes chocolate.

have a purse.

Well that's just common sense.

try to control things they don't understand.

Pete, go back to what you're good at: making poor doctors even more poor in overblown malpractice suits. Give control of the Orioles to the GM and maybe every magazine won't vote you the worst baseball owner of the year, EVERY YEAR SINCE 1998.

miss the first day of practice because of a sprained toe.

You gotta' be kiddin' me. How much are the Bills paying this fool? 6.5 million bux for 1 year, that's how much. Ralphie is going to regret it real soon.

bring your mother in to swear your a good guy.

You bowtie wearin', non-English-speakin', girl-beatin', pussy-ass mama's boy. Damn. Just. Damn. Would somebody just kick this little d-bag's ass already?!

have mullets.

Get a haircut, moron.

pucker for the camera.

And there are women who like this?

drive corvettes.

Especially red ones. Ever wonder why women look at you in that car and then whisper to one another with giggles?