choose their penis over integrity.

And to think people thought of you in the same category as Kurt Cobain...

embarass their dead fathers.

How phony can one human be? Here's your answer.

hit girls.

Even if they are incredibly annoying, a real man wouldn't hit a woman. Or wear more hair gel than one.

need an entourage.

Do you hate yourself that much that you constantly have to be surrounded by yes men and skanks? Or is it the fact that there isn't a cell in your body that resembles something masculine? How about this, when was the last time you took your own garbage to the curb? Cleaned out the garage? Shoveled snow? Clipped your own fingernails?

Beyond douchbag.

watch reality TV.

There is always something that needs fixing. Go fix it and stop being a assholeface.

dog fight.

You are the mother of all pussies if you are involved in this shit. Seriously.

drive "tricked out" douch mobiles.

An automobile designed for off road activity made to look like Liberace's golf cart is NOT what a man would drive.